The week has finished and I am tired. Even with help around the house, it has been a challenge. We are now settled into a well-established routine with the children and on weekdays at least, there seems little time for anything else if I am to get an early night with Aruna. Insomnia has been eating me away around the edges. I have been desperate for an un-rushed shower and hair wash. In the end, I got into William's cold bath water last night and hurriedly scrubbed down while Raj managed William's bedtime stories and held onto Aruna who was grizzling with wind, but as yet my hair is still in a state.
Any mother will recognise this plight.
I am still not free of a chronic anaemia which, despite taking supplements, is still holding fast. In hindsight, I think it started in the last trimester if not earlier as I remember being very out of breath just going up the stairs at work and it probably contributed to my susceptibility to infection in November. Although I feel more energetic now, I am quite irascible and at times, tearful. Sadly, William often bears the brunt of this. My lack of patience is exposed with his inquisitive mind and active body, only natural for a 4 year-old, as I cannot keep up.
My mother visited, at my request, to provide an extra pair of hands around the house for a couple of days. She is busy at home and, rather like me, does not relish being interrupted when in the middle of large projects. Her mood betrayed that. But she also has her own burdens to face, after several courses of treatment for macular degeneration, to be told that she will likely lose her eyesight over the next 5 years. We spoke on the phone today and it eased some of the tension that had been felt earlier in the week between us.
As I write the close, I have now succeeded in some thorough body cleansing and even a little tidying up downstairs. So, I may at last retire to bed feeling, if not excited about a good night's sleep, relaxed enough to give it the best chance.
