Almost a week of 'relaxation' at home alone with William has renewed my strongest sense of motherhood. Work seems so far away at these times, even though we occupy most of our time by doing simple things at home. Yesterday, a rainy day spent indoors, I started singing a song, as I quite often do, and William seemed very eager to know what it was. (It was The Fortunes: Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again.) So, we found it on the internet and for the rest of the day it was played over and over, almost to distraction. It is heartening to see a love of music in William because it is something we all share in our family. I had to take William shoe shopping the other day and he was singing at the top of his lungs while we ambled along through Exeter city centre. This, being something I am used to, was no cause for embarrassment or self-consciousness on my part, although I did notice people smiling to themselves. Part of me hopes he will never lose that complete lack of inhibition.
This week has allowed me to observe more closely William's habits and development, with surprising moments, as well as a few challenges. His capacity for imaginary nonsensical stories or embellishment and mixing of facts around a genuine and interesting occurrence is astounding. Since Raj's last departure involved taking a rail replacement bus service up to Taunton, William talked non-stop about broken down trains and works on the line. Then, when the reason for my absense from work was explained to him (a technical failure caused by, none other than, a mouse!), he took great pleasure in expounding the whole story to Granjool (his grandma) over the phone.
Having me around more, he seemed calmer, more co-operative and a real joy to be around most of the time. My heavy working schedule seems to have taken its toll on my creativity in gently managing his behaviour challenges, usually because I am tired and rushed. Last night though, in an act of sheer defiance at bedtime, he turned the computer on after all was closed down for the night and bedtime orders were issued. He looked at me as if to say, "What are you going to do about it then?". As I was lost for adequate words I just expressed my anger and sat there somewhat bewildered. Eventually he turned it off and came to bed, the incident now confined to the past and to be ruminated on by me as a ?parenting fail ?inevitable challenge ?just one of those things ?what can I learn from it....
I am in a continual search for strategies, that seem to change daily with growth and development. Now, where's that magic bullet.....
